I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
