Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it's like heaven, but drunker
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize