you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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