It's Friday. Sex?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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