If i come over, it means nothing
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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