If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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