ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
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He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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