I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
