Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
