My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
