dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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