Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
