the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize