I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
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I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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