Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize