One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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