His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
babies were throwing up all over the place
he was CRYING into my vagina
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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