why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
