Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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