so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
