As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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