He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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