shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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