don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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