True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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