do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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