One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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