We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
