And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
