Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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