i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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