he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
