I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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