I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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