I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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