who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
