Reggie can tackle my bush.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize