So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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