I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
