I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
