So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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