i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
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I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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