Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
