Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
