Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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