I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
