I CAN MOONWALK!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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