Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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