I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
