"it" just moved
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize