So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
