just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there was a trapeze. enough said
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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