no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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