If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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