you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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